BLOG #2: THE PROSE PASSAGE BENCHMARK ESSAY

Draft #1:
In the passage from The Known World by Edward P Jones, Moses is characterized as an outlier, embroiled in his own thoughts. Jones does this from the perspective of a narrator, who isolates moses from those around him and uses the minutia of Moses’ actions to reveal his emotions and disposition. Jones also uses the setting to echo Moses’ feelings and enhance the mood of the passage.

The broadest and most evident element of Moses’ character - that his is an outlier - is revealed through the actions of others, and how his differ. This is defined by the use of the words “other” (Line 2), meaning what everyone else did, and the word “only” (Line 23), meaning what Moses did. Such word choice highlights the idea that Moses is an anomaly. They create separation between Moses’ surrounding and himself, which is the result of other aspects, and are revealed in a more subtle manner, though details and imagery.

The use of a third-person point of view limits the reader’s understanding and knowledge of the character to what the narrator offers. The reader cannot see the character’s thoughts or emotion as the character would have them, thus the reader must extrapolate information about the character from what the narrator procides. The narrator characterizes Moses using descriptions of small, seemingly insignificant actions. When Moses reaches down to “[take] a pinch of soil” (Line 18), Jones also includes that Moses “closed his eyes” (Lines 17-18). This indications that Moses is taking in his surroundings, the feeling of the soil, how it tastes, and is reminiscing on his experiences. This inclusion of a mundane action reveals a major aspect of Moses’ character - his thoughtfulness.

Moses is also characterized by his surroundings. When the mule “quivers, wanting home and rest” (Line 17), Moses is distanced even from the very animal he had been connected to the last 15 hours (Lines 10-15). This further enhances the characterization of Moses’ isolation and offers support for more overtly revealed aspects.

Storyboard
Shifts Chart

Draft #2:

Moses finds his true identity in the sun and soil of the fields. In The Known World, Edward P. Jones uses contrasting symbolism to build Moses’ characterization; he conveys the irony that the earth which brings Moses chains also grants him freedom. It is through this contrast that readers discover that Moses is not only an experienced, hardworking farmer but is also an introvert who finds pure serenity in the earth. Jones purposely delays the introduction of Moses’ significance and character and instead relies on the third person omniscient point of view to open the passage with a palpable distance. Throughout the first eight lines, Jones opens the passage using the subjunctive third person to introduce all of the other characters. Jones describes “his own wife” (l.2-3) and “his son” (l.4), and he describes how “he worked again well after he ended the day for the other adults” (ll.1-2) yet he never defines who ‘he’ actually is. This creates a secretive tone as Jones connects the outer pieces of the puzzle without ever filling in the last piece: the subject. Finally, Jones directly addresses the character when he says, “When he, Moses, finally freed himself” (ll.8-9), giving us a name. By choosing to explain his surroundings before he really addresses the actual character of Moses, Jones is creating a mysterious tone that is reflective of Moses himself. As the audience will come to learn, Moses is an introverted man who puts nature and the land that surrounds him over nearly everything in his life, including his family. Therefore, it makes sense that Jones would choose to focus on the surroundings before directing the focus on Moses and switching from passive verbs to active, more descriptive ones. Moses’ character continues to develop through a shift in focus within the passage. Instead of continuing to describe Moses’ freedom from his responsibilities at work, Jones uses imagery to describe Moses in his element, connected to the earth around him. The reader experiences an intimate moment as Moses kneels down to be closer to the earth and “worked the dirt around in his mouth” (l.19). While this moment shows his deep love the world around him, Jones choses to contrast that while Moses tastes the dirt to further his connection with` the earth, the taste itself resembles a “sour moldiness...associated with the coming of fall and winter” (ll. 37-38). Moses is able to feel both connected and repulsed by the earth. As Moses descends into the forest and delves into his isolation, his senses are met with sounds of his distant family and children, and greeted with the welcoming sounds of nature. When Moses leaves the fields and the mule to which he had been chained, weary and worn, he is reinvigorated by the smell of rain and as he ventured down the path in the woods, “to the right… [he] made out what he thought was the sound of playing children, but when he turned his head back, he could hear far more clearly the last bird of the day as is evening-chirped in the small forest far off to the left” (Ll. 60-64). The children represent the family he is neglecting, and the bird symbolizes the welcoming arms of Mother Nature. The decision to place the sound of the children to the right reflects what is the generally accepted priority of a man, and what is conventional. Putting the call of the wild to the left represents his desires and what his heart really feels. The bird’s “chirping” (L. 64) is also louder to Moses’ ears than the “sounds of playing children” (Ll. 61-62). These show the desire and welcoming feeling that isolation and nature evoke in Moses, as well as the irony that the earth which oppresses him gives him liberty. Moses seeks solitude and finds comfort in being alone on a piece of land deemed unsuitable for planting crops. A real turning point the passage occurs when Moses “undressed to his nakedness and lay down” (l. 81). The ingenuity required to find joy through nakedness in the rain is yet another previously undiscovered personality trait, but the effect is lessened coming after a reveal so grand as Moses eating dirt. This simple diction and short structure, placed in a paragraph of long graphic descriptions, is a syntactically smart choice designed to create contrast between this sentence and the rest of the paragraph. The audience is, therefore, forced into realizing that Moses is no ordinary man. Given that Moses is a slave, and his life therefore belongs to the land, it is ironic that he would choose to spend his time alone among the land rather than with his family. The concluding metaphor of how “rheumatism chained up his body” (l. 86), adds final perspective to the discussion of freedom and oppression, given that the land which was meant to chain him mentally set him free- and with that freedom Moses chose to partake in activities that caused him to be physically “chained.” Within each of us there is controversy, and in no one is that more clear than Moses. Jones uses irony to display these differences and discuss the true meaning of freedom. In The Known World, Edward P. Jones explores the differences between Moses as a husband, as a father, as a slave, and as a man who makes choices for no one but himself.

Reflection:

On my first draft I scored a 4/9. Between the first and second drafts, I think that my overall understanding of what the AP Literature exam is looking for improved. Initially, I focused on insignificant details that were relevant to the points I was making, but less relevant to the abstract themes of the passage, which is what the exam is looking for. In the second draft, there was a major improvement in strength of evidence and clarity of thought as it relates to the characterization of Moses. I think that this is largely due to the use of the shifts paper to organize major themes and ideas that occur within the excerpt.