BLOG #2: THE PROSE PASSAGE BENCHMARK ESSAY

Draft #1:
In the passage from The Known World by Edward P Jones, Moses is characterized as an outlier, embroiled in his own thoughts. Jones does this from the perspective of a narrator, who isolates moses from those around him and uses the minutia of Moses’ actions to reveal his emotions and disposition. Jones also uses the setting to echo Moses’ feelings and enhance the mood of the passage.

The broadest and most evident element of Moses’ character - that his is an outlier - is revealed through the actions of others, and how his differ. This is defined by the use of the words “other” (Line 2), meaning what everyone else did, and the word “only” (Line 23), meaning what Moses did. Such word choice highlights the idea that Moses is an anomaly. They create separation between Moses’ surrounding and himself, which is the result of other aspects, and are revealed in a more subtle manner, though details and imagery.

The use of a third-person point of view limits the reader’s understanding and knowledge of the character to what the narrator offers. The reader cannot see the character’s thoughts or emotion as the character would have them, thus the reader must extrapolate information about the character from what the narrator procides. The narrator characterizes Moses using descriptions of small, seemingly insignificant actions. When Moses reaches down to “[take] a pinch of soil” (Line 18), Jones also includes that Moses “closed his eyes” (Lines 17-18). This indications that Moses is taking in his surroundings, the feeling of the soil, how it tastes, and is reminiscing on his experiences. This inclusion of a mundane action reveals a major aspect of Moses’ character - his thoughtfulness.

Moses is also characterized by his surroundings. When the mule “quivers, wanting home and rest” (Line 17), Moses is distanced even from the very animal he had been connected to the last 15 hours (Lines 10-15). This further enhances the characterization of Moses’ isolation and offers support for more overtly revealed aspects.

Storyboard
Shifts Chart

Draft #2:

Moses finds his true identity in the sun and soil of the fields. In The Known World, Edward P. Jones uses contrasting symbolism to build Moses’ characterization; he conveys the irony that the earth which brings Moses chains also grants him freedom. It is through this contrast that readers discover that Moses is not only an experienced, hardworking farmer but is also an introvert who finds pure serenity in the earth. Jones purposely delays the introduction of Moses’ significance and character and instead relies on the third person omniscient point of view to open the passage with a palpable distance. Throughout the first eight lines, Jones opens the passage using the subjunctive third person to introduce all of the other characters. Jones describes “his own wife” (l.2-3) and “his son” (l.4), and he describes how “he worked again well after he ended the day for the other adults” (ll.1-2) yet he never defines who ‘he’ actually is. This creates a secretive tone as Jones connects the outer pieces of the puzzle without ever filling in the last piece: the subject. Finally, Jones directly addresses the character when he says, “When he, Moses, finally freed himself” (ll.8-9), giving us a name. By choosing to explain his surroundings before he really addresses the actual character of Moses, Jones is creating a mysterious tone that is reflective of Moses himself. As the audience will come to learn, Moses is an introverted man who puts nature and the land that surrounds him over nearly everything in his life, including his family. Therefore, it makes sense that Jones would choose to focus on the surroundings before directing the focus on Moses and switching from passive verbs to active, more descriptive ones. Moses’ character continues to develop through a shift in focus within the passage. Instead of continuing to describe Moses’ freedom from his responsibilities at work, Jones uses imagery to describe Moses in his element, connected to the earth around him. The reader experiences an intimate moment as Moses kneels down to be closer to the earth and “worked the dirt around in his mouth” (l.19). While this moment shows his deep love the world around him, Jones choses to contrast that while Moses tastes the dirt to further his connection with` the earth, the taste itself resembles a “sour moldiness...associated with the coming of fall and winter” (ll. 37-38). Moses is able to feel both connected and repulsed by the earth. As Moses descends into the forest and delves into his isolation, his senses are met with sounds of his distant family and children, and greeted with the welcoming sounds of nature. When Moses leaves the fields and the mule to which he had been chained, weary and worn, he is reinvigorated by the smell of rain and as he ventured down the path in the woods, “to the right… [he] made out what he thought was the sound of playing children, but when he turned his head back, he could hear far more clearly the last bird of the day as is evening-chirped in the small forest far off to the left” (Ll. 60-64). The children represent the family he is neglecting, and the bird symbolizes the welcoming arms of Mother Nature. The decision to place the sound of the children to the right reflects what is the generally accepted priority of a man, and what is conventional. Putting the call of the wild to the left represents his desires and what his heart really feels. The bird’s “chirping” (L. 64) is also louder to Moses’ ears than the “sounds of playing children” (Ll. 61-62). These show the desire and welcoming feeling that isolation and nature evoke in Moses, as well as the irony that the earth which oppresses him gives him liberty. Moses seeks solitude and finds comfort in being alone on a piece of land deemed unsuitable for planting crops. A real turning point the passage occurs when Moses “undressed to his nakedness and lay down” (l. 81). The ingenuity required to find joy through nakedness in the rain is yet another previously undiscovered personality trait, but the effect is lessened coming after a reveal so grand as Moses eating dirt. This simple diction and short structure, placed in a paragraph of long graphic descriptions, is a syntactically smart choice designed to create contrast between this sentence and the rest of the paragraph. The audience is, therefore, forced into realizing that Moses is no ordinary man. Given that Moses is a slave, and his life therefore belongs to the land, it is ironic that he would choose to spend his time alone among the land rather than with his family. The concluding metaphor of how “rheumatism chained up his body” (l. 86), adds final perspective to the discussion of freedom and oppression, given that the land which was meant to chain him mentally set him free- and with that freedom Moses chose to partake in activities that caused him to be physically “chained.” Within each of us there is controversy, and in no one is that more clear than Moses. Jones uses irony to display these differences and discuss the true meaning of freedom. In The Known World, Edward P. Jones explores the differences between Moses as a husband, as a father, as a slave, and as a man who makes choices for no one but himself.

Reflection:

On my first draft I scored a 4/9. Between the first and second drafts, I think that my overall understanding of what the AP Literature exam is looking for improved. Initially, I focused on insignificant details that were relevant to the points I was making, but less relevant to the abstract themes of the passage, which is what the exam is looking for. In the second draft, there was a major improvement in strength of evidence and clarity of thought as it relates to the characterization of Moses. I think that this is largely due to the use of the shifts paper to organize major themes and ideas that occur within the excerpt.

BLOG #1: THE OPEN QUESTION BENCHMARK ESSAY

As a child, much of one's values and morals are shaped by one's parents. This can lead to differing opinions of what is right and what is wrong in adulthood. It is for this reason laws and law enforcement exist. They set the bottom line of ethics and the fair treatment of others, and are generally accepted as correct and proper. Those who obey are "good", while those who defect are "evil." In Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, the primary antagonist, Inspector Javert's morals are heavily influenced by his position as an officer. Being a part of the government, he takes the values he is enforcing to heart, which conflicts with the morals and behaviors of Jean Valjean, a convict.

As a police officer, Inspectors Javert's duty is to combat behaviors such as thievery, murder, arson, and the like. This creates a stereotype within his mind that a criminals are inherently bad people and should be punished. It is for this reason Javert pursues Valjean for decades after his escape, even though he has made an honest life for himself. Javert himself feels superior to the criminals he interacts with because he has not broken the law and wronged another, while the criminal hypothetically has. This reduces the criminal to only one dimension, one title: a criminal, a law-breaker. This is especially evident throughout the work when Javert repeatedly refers to Valjean as 24601, his number while he was in prison. Calling Valjean this name is meant to be derogatory, insinuating that Valjean is always going to be a criminal and always going to be impure, simply because he stole a loaf of bread. Within Javert's mind, the name "24601" reinforces that those who break the law and defect are inherently bad people.

In the years following Valjean's escape, Javert continually tries to recapture Valjean, dismissing his actions and the positive change he has created because in Javert's book, Valjean is just a criminal. This prints to the idea that people are more than just one label. While Javert first interactions with Valjean and other "convicts" in the context of being in prison, that is not the only characteristic of who they are. They are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, fathers and wives. They are merchants, and laborers, and farmers, and bakers. To Javert, however, they are only thieves and rapists, because they broke the law.

Hugo's intent in writing  Les Miserables was to encourage open-mindedness and to see others as more than just how you know them. Javert failed to recognize that though Valjean broke the law, he is not just a law-breaker, and though he acted immorally towards the baker from whom he stole, he is not immoral.

Revision:
What one believes to be their place in society can develop one's sense of ethics.  In Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, the primary antagonist, Inspector Javert's morals are heavily influenced by his role as an officer. As a part of the government, he is honor-bound to enforce the law, on which he builds his moral code. The law is the end all be all of what is right and what is wrong. On the other hand, his interactions with Jean Valjean, a convict, while he is on duty, lead him to question and ultimately reject the values on which the law stands, and on which his beliefs stand.

As a police officer, Inspectors Javert's duty is punish rapists, thieves, and murderers, and bring those wronged to justice. This entails physical and psychological abuse of the inmates in the form of hard labor and verbal abuse. In Javert's mind, his actions are justified because the inmates are criminals; they deserve it. Meanwhile, he is the hand of justice. This leads him to believe that criminals are inherently bad people and deserve to be punished. It is for this reason Javert pursues Valjean for decades after he escapes parole, even though Valjean has made an honest life for himself. The time Javert has spent representing the law has led him to reduce the criminals to being just that: criminals. Javert himself feels superior to the inmates he interacts with because he not wronged another or caused anyone injustice, while the prisoners he is punishing hypothetically have. Javert's one-dimensionalization of the prisoners is especially evident throughout the work when Javert repeatedly refers to Valjean as "24601", his number while he was in prison. Calling Valjean this name is meant to be derogatory, insinuating that Valjean is always going to be a criminal and always going to be impure, simply because he stole a loaf of bread. Within Javert's mind, the name "24601" reinforces the idea that Valjean is merely a criminal and nothing more. It also boosts his sense of authority and power over Valjean. In Javert's mind, he is the predator and Valjean is the prey.

In the years following Valjean's escape, Javert continually tries to recapture Valjean, dismissing his actions and the positive change he has created. In Javert's book, Valjean is just a criminal and nothing more. This points to the idea that people are more than just one label. While Javert first interactions with Valjean and other "convicts" in the context of being in prison, that is not the only characteristic of who they are. They are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers. They are merchants, and laborers, and farmers, and bakers. To Javert, however, they are only thieves and rapists, because they broke the law. This is a microcosm of what happens in the real world. We meet many people in very specific contexts, but mentally, we think that's who they are all the time, which isn't true. It is like the inevitable and uncomfortable experience of seeing a teacher at Kroger. In your world, they exist only in the context of their classroom. Yet somehow they are also here are Kroger. This creates cognitive dissonance, to which Javert responds with denial.

Hugo's intent in writing  Les Miserables was to encourage open-mindedness and to see others as more than just how you know them. Javert failed to recognize that though Valjean broke the law, he is not just a law-breaker, and though he acted immorally towards the baker from whom he stole, he is not immoral.

Reflection:
My first draft received a 5-6/9 on its first reading. Where my writing lacked was depth and flow. Some parts were long-winded and irrelevant, while other sections that were important to a quality analysis were lacking. I also think my logic was foggy. On my second draft, I scored a 6/9. Between my first and second drafts, I improved the phrasing of my ideas and increased the depth and cohesiveness of my analysis. I improved the phrasing of my ideas by not using the passive voice and avoiding circumlocution. To improve the flow and logic of my essay, I used more examples in my analysis, notably the teacher-at-Kroger example. I also tried to use better transitions.

STAR WARS/ARCHETYPAL HERO PARTY

Naturally, I had to put this on my Snapchat story.

Last night, I finished my wonderful piece of pastry art, titled Resist(ance) the Temptation, for the Star Wars party at exactly 12:16 am (I guess that makes it this morning. Right?). Since I started around 9:50pm, that means it took about two and a half hours, which isn't bad for the cake-sterpiece it was. But why did I not start until 9:50? I'm not really sure. Let's see... Yesterday after school, instead of doing homework and being the industrious student I'm supposed to be, I decided to do some conditioning with Jenny. We did 2 sets of 5 stairs at the football stadium with some sprints and ab training in between. We finished at 3:45pm. After that, she went home and I went to buy nachos to eat at Antonia's tennis match vs Ursuline Academy, which I stayed at until 5:15pm or so... I think. After that I don't really know what happened, but I know that somewhere between 5:15pm and 9:50pm, I bought cake batter, icing, and sprinkles, and didn't do homework. So there's that.

Notice the icing on the side falling off the cake.

My cake was pretty awesome, if I haven't made that clear already. Maybe I'm biased. Maybe cake is just always awesome. I think the latter. Anywho, the yummy fluffiness that goes on the inside of the cake was Pillsbury Super Moist French Vanilla mix. Yes, I admit it, I used cake mix. I didn't want to risk accidentally poisoning my Lit class on the 8th day of school. That would not be the way to make a good first impression. After baking it for half an hour, I let it cool and cut out two circles from the cake. I trimmed off some excess, then iced it. I used Pillsbury Funfetti Icing in Vibrant Red. I promise this post is not sponsored by Pillsbury... It's just what Walmart had. Anywho, the icing was a struggle because the cake was so yummy and fluffy. Notice that I bought the "Super Moist" mix. That was poor judgement on my part, since the icing would tear the cake everywhere I put it. The yumminess was a problem because of the amount of self control it took to not eat the entire thing. Hence the name Resist(ance) the Temptation.

After battling the crumbling conundrum, I got to the decorating part. Originally, I was going to cut the actual cake in the shape of the Resistance logo, but after seeing the lack of structural integrity in the cake, I opted for plan B. Plan B did not exist until this point. By a happy accident, I bought red sprinkles to decorate the top of the Resistance-logo-shaped cake. Since the cake was no longer Resistance-logo-shaped, I decided to use the glitter and glue technique to making shapes in preschool and apply it to cake and icing. I cut the shape of the Resistance logo out of a sheet of wax paper, and put the larger sheet with the logo-shaped hole in it on the top of the cake. Then I went to town and put sprinkles everywhere on that sheet and on the icing that showed through the cutout. I blew off the excess sprinkles and removed the wax paper. Ta-da! A Resistance Cake is born.

You can see my uncostumed right arm in the bottom left corner enjoying cake.

At that point I was honestly dead tired and had a fair amount of AP Bio homework left, so I totally forgot about wearing a costume... Whoops. Oh well, I still got to eat cake so life is good.